My first STD was from a foam party
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
