I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
