ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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