You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
