Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
