i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize