you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Found your dick twin last night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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