I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
