the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just high enough for therapy.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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