her vagine was all disorganized.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
