On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
