these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
