I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What a dumb baby whore.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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