I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
