He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
