Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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