so that wasnt chicken after all
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
