I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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