I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
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