I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would fuck him just for his dog
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize