her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
