My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
