we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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