I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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