I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
