I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
