well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
