The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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