He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
