There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
