All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
