the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize