I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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