i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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