Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
