I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
