i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
