it was like his penis was on wheels.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
there is glitter all over my balls
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