apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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