is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
