I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
