and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
