I'm drive I can fine osifer
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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