Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
