I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
