is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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