the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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