I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
