i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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