Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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