And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
