i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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