I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
