Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
