I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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