I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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