so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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